So today I had some time by myself. I was exploring Jersey City, thinking about places I wanted to write about on this blog. I was sitting in a cafe and all of a sudden I was like, where the fuck am I. Who cares about this cafe. Who is ever going to read this blog. Where am I living and how did I end up in New Jersey. It’s like sometimes when I’m out here I feel lost and really disconnected to where I live. It doesn’t feel like home to me.
I was also thinking about this experience from the perspective of being a parent. Here I was, free and sans kids (something I dream about), and I was anxious. Like, is part of hating it here and missing the city and being inspired and excited by my surroundings mixed up with missing my pre-kids life. Yes. But some of it is no. Like why is it so hard to find good food. Hence ihatenj.
Anyway, I started walking. Wandering past brownstones. Old, beautiful brownstones. I had a good, healthy dose of real estate envy and thinking about what my life would be if I lived in one. It felt like I was back in Brooklyn (again, the no kids thing) walking and thinking. I sat in a city park (Van Vorst Park) – perfectly complete with a weird, creepy guy reading a book titled HITLER. I walked over to WORD, a great bookstore from Greenpoint, BK. It felt great and I started to feel “normal”.
So as this blog is about the new normal, changing lives, changing locations – I thought I’d share it here. I’d also love this to turn into a conversation/exploration of other people’s experiences feeling lost or feeling good or feeling conflicted or whatever. I don’t know exactly how to do that (also from a technological perspective – HOW DO I BLOG I’M SO CONFUSED I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CHANGE THE FONT) so if you want to share or you have some techie suggestions I have an email firstname.lastname@example.org .
Ciao, Lauren xx