Today is a blah day. It’s grey and drizzly. I am tired. Tired of talking about myself. Tired of thinking about what makes me happy.
I’m dreaming of travel and places I want to go and escape. I used to, in my past life before kids and before Maplewood, have a job that took me to Paris and London and LA. And I always have had a travel bug and am lucky enough to have seen many places in this world. And now I am sitting in the suburbs, having that itch. I want to travel with my family, by myself, all of the above. Instead, I am feeling stagnant and stuck which only makes me ihatenj more.
I follow these families on Instagram. They sell all their material possessions and travel the world with their kids. It is amazing, inspirational – but also wildly scary to me.
And we have no faraway vacation in sight. My husband and I had decided that this year, 2017, we were going to figure out our lives a bit. Figure out if we wanted to stay in Maplewood. Explore California as an option. But also try to nest and see how that goes. I saw a shaman who advised me to let go of the future, and we worked on being really present and at peace here. It’s funny. Yes, I started this blog, where the name inherently is doing the opposite of that. But writing and visiting places and meeting people has actually been really helpful for me to feel more at home and settled here.
And relationships have changed. Nesting does that. I feel closer and more grounded with local friends and have met cool, interesting new people that I relate to and am excited about. I guess staying put and not traveling helps with that. But sticking around also has made me a bit restless. And in some ways I feel a little flat sometimes. Maybe a bit depressed.
I’m going to list some dream trips here. Put it out there into the world and let it manifest.
- Portugal. With family. I ate at a delicious Portuguese tapas-style restaurant last night and really want all their dinnerware so am feeling it today.
- Paris. I miss it.
- I want to go back to India so badly – but with kids when they are older. But have to include it so it comes true soon.
- Marfa, TX. Never been.
- Oaxaca, Mexico (by myself doing fiber arts).
- Weekend in Stockholm with just hubby or week in Amsterdam with whole family.
- Grateful Dead show in Mexico – Feb, 2018. But they need to change their policy so you don’t have to stay at the terrible all-inclusive hotel. I want to be on a hut in Tulum.
OK. There are more, but enough dreaming for now.
Ciao, Lauren xx